War of the Worlds

Ohhh, so that's why they didn't want anybody reviewing it before it was released!

I had high expectations for this one. I have read the classic novel twice, both times marvelling at how well the story has aged in the 107 years since it was written by science fiction pioneer H. G. Wells. And Spielberg's and Cruise's last collaboration, the superb Minority Report, is one of my all-time favorites.

But even with this abundance of talent and source material, War of the Worlds is very, very disappointing. In keeping with the book (which has one of the best opening paragraphs I've ever read), the opening is suitably ominous, but after the initial mayhem, we are left to watch characters we don't care about flee from one doomed town to the next. Most of the characters are so annoying that I found myself rooting for the aliens half the time. I don't think that was the effect Spielberg was going for.

Tom Cruise, who in real life plays a weirdo, is a divorced dad in New Jersey who has custody of his two obnoxious kids for the weekend. Suddenly freak lightning storms and massive power outages bring the entire city to halt. Enormous pits form in the middle of intersections, and otherworldly tripods emerge, zapping everyone in their path, and generally wreaking havoc. So far, so good. But then Cruise and crew run for it, and his kids compete as to who can be the most grating. The teenage son won hands down, and I nearly applauded when the aliens appeared to kill him about halfway through the movie. But even that cold comfort was stolen from me in the end.

Tim Robbins reprises his ongoing role as a crazy loner, but he doesn't do much besides mutter (and eventually shout) incoherently. Thankfully, his screen time is short. If only the same could be said about the two brats, it might have been a different movie.

Except for the completely unnecessary dysfunctional family storyline, Spielberg's retelling is actually pretty faithful to Wells' original, which leads me to suspect that the story just doesn't translate well onto the screen. Despite a valiant effort, the film simply cannot compare to the book's pervasive creepiness and suspense. Stick with the original.