Predictions for 2006

One of the best (and worst) things about having a blog is that I and my reader (I use the singular advisedly) can look back at what I got right, what I got spectacularly wrong, and what I missed entirely. In that vein, allow me to dust off my cloudy crystal ball and reveal my absolutely 100% correct predictions for 2006:

1. Judge Samuel Alito will be confirmed by the Senate with about 65 votes, despite the Democrats' suspicions that he is not a physical and ideological clone of Sandra Day O'Connor. The oft-repeated fear that Alito will upset the court's sacred "balance" is one of those bizarre instances of modern politics in which a minor talking point written by some Senate staffer gets elevated by the mainstream media to the level of Constitutional sacrement. But I digress.

2. After Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's death (which is a tragedy for Israelis and Palestinians alike), former prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu will emerge as the frontrunner to replace him. He will have frequent clashes with his more dovish coalition cabinet, making his term tumultuous but short. The gradual move toward Palestinian statehood will continue, even after the Palestinian leadership fails to rein in Hamas and Islamic Jihad.

3. The Indianapolis Colts will win the Super Bowl. The Rolling Stones, to the relief of all humanity, will remain fully clothed during the halftime show.

4. The situation along the Korean peninsula will remain unchanged, because no one is willing to do anything to change it. The long slide into tragedy will continue.

5. Europe will slowly begin to realize the consequences of its demographic collapse and subsequent Islamification, but too late to do anything about it. More social unrest, such as was seen in Paris last year, will strike, perhaps in Germany or the Netherlands.

6. Al-Qaeda, or one of its progeny, will pull off a large-scale (comparable in size to the Madrid bombings in 2004) terrorist attack in Italy sometime during the year. There will be no successful attacks on American soil.

7. The WVU basketball team will make it to the Final Four, but sadly, no further.

8. About 100,000 American troops will be in Iraq by year's end, down from the current 150,000. Republicans will point to the drawdown as proof that the mission in Iraq is succeeding; Democrats will point to it as proof it is failing. The level of violence will remain about the same as it is now.

9. I'm really going out on a limb on this one: Federal spending will increase.

10. Illegal immigration will become one of the most contentious issues of the 2006 elections.

11. The avian flu will remain chiefly confined to avians.

12. Brokeback Mountain, a movie that critics are contractually obligated to shower with praise, will win the Oscar for Best Picture. The awards ceremony will go on for three days, due to all the assembled Hollywood elites giving themselves a congratulatory standing ovation for their tolerance and fearlessness. And they will continue to be mystified over why their movies fail to resonate with those 150 million Americans living in between the coasts.

13. The Dow will close out the year at around 11,500.

14. Osama bin Laden's status will remain unresolved.

15. The Republicans will retain control of both houses of Congress, although it will be close in the House. Democrats, emboldened by their first non-loss since 1998, will become even more hysterical in their attacks on President Bush, thereby weakening their chances in the 2008 presidential election. They just can't help themselves.

16. The gravest international crisis the West will face one year hence will be Iran's continued effort to build nuclear weapons. The UN Security Council will levy sanctions against Iran late this year, but the sanctions will do little to force the Iranian government to reverse course, and will do much to antagonize the Iranian people, who will be hardest hit. Military action--whether by the US, Israel, or both--will be discussed much more openly and frequently than it is today.

17. The West Virginia Mountaineers will go undefeated in the regular season, and will be in the Sugar Bowl again. They will play a 9-2 LSU team. The game will be controversial, because WVU will be one of only two undefeated teams in the nation, but they will not get a chance to play for the championship. Remember, you heard it here first.

If anyone out there has some predictions of their own they'd like to add, please feel free to do so in the comments.